Jersey Shore Awards

As the second season of the Jersey Shore has come to an end it is time for the Jersey Shore Awards to be handed out. A lot happened this season and too bad it wasn’t really at the Shore. This season took place in Miami because the Shore didn’t want The Situation and his many situations back. Thankfully the cast will be back for Season 3 airing in January on MTV. The whole cast returned for season 2 which was shocking since Angelina didn’t even make it that long on season 1 but the producers sure did know what they were doing. Angelina brought with her a hurricane full of drama. So let’s get this thing started.

Manager of the Year: (Awarded to the cast member who successfully managed a difficult situation.)

The three nominees for this award are Angelina, Ronnie, and The Situation.

Angelina – For most of the season she kept herself out of trouble even though she was at the root of most of the drama. It was surprising to me how long she lasted before people turned on her. The key to her success was having Pauly D and Mike on her side. Once she betrayed them which started when she open hand slapped Pauly twice one night you know her time in Miami was short lived. Had she lasted the whole season she might have won this award.

The Situation – Mike is nominated for successfully handling one of his many situations. Pauly and Mike brought two girls back to the house when two more showed up. Mike put one girl in the Smush room, one girl to bed, Pauly took his girl, and they handed one off to Vinny. One chick passed out and three were satisfied not a bad night at the Jersey Shore house for the guys.

Ronnie – The winner of this award hands down. Ronnie successfully managed the situation of having his ex in the house while hooking up with girls at the club. After the club Ronnie would come back to the house and hook up with Sammi. This went on for nights until JWOWW and Snooki wrote a note to tell Sammi of Ronnie’s wild nights. Somehow Sammi gets pissed at Snooki and JWOWW and Ronnie gets away with everything. I still don’t know how this man pulled it off, but I applaud him.

Cy Young Award: (Awarded to the cast member that struck out the most.)

The two nominees for this award are Vinny and The Situation.

Vinny – Vinny really only struck out with one girl. She was a fairly hot model that stood him up once. As we later learned when he finally took her out she is just insanely late all the time. He went on a couple successful dates with this girl and for that will not be winning the Cy Young.

The Situation – Mike gets this award for not just striking out himself which we saw a lot of but also for causing his roommates to strike out. On at least two occasions when he couldn’t close the deal he caused Pauly to not get any. One thing the Situation has that all great Pitchers have is a short memory because he was never afraid to get back on the mound. The clinching moment for this award was when the Situation was shut down by Snooki.

Best Nicknames

Joey Yanks and J420 –These guys were never on the show but were probably talked about by fans more than anybody that was actually on season 2.

Best Fight

The nominees are Sammi vs. JWOWW, Angelina vs. The Situation, and Snooki vs. Angelina.

Angelina vs. The Situation – This fight was more one sided. Mike spent a lot of time talking trash to Angelina and finally Angelina smacked The Situation. It was a lot of build up but no real pay off. Obviously Mike wasn’t going to hit a girl.

Snooki vs. Angelina – It was really hard not to give this the award. It was by far the longest of the fights. It involved the most hated person in the house and possibly the most likable girl in the house. I can’t think of any sane person who might have been rooting for Angelina. The added commentary by Ronnie doing his Michael Buffer impersonation was great too. The only problem was that if the judges had to make an honest decision Angelina probably won the fight. Snooki was like a bull though when she was charging at Angelina with her head down. She definitly had the will to keep fighting if she would've been allowed to go on.

Sammi vs. JWOWW – This fight pitted the two biggest divas in the house against each other and that’s not the only reason it wins the award. The best part of the fight is that I still don’t know why Sammi was so pissed at JWOWW. I have a theory that JWOWW’s future career is in Pro Wrestling and when she had Sammi on the ground fighting to get up I thought this fight was over. Then out of nowhere Sammi is on her feet and JWOWW is in the corner when Sammi lands a right hook on JWOWW’s face. Down Goes Frasier! It was over as fast as a Tyson fight, at least before he started biting opponents ears. Two things pushed this fight over the top for me. 1) Out of nowhere Ronnie and Vinny get into it. It spawned a second fight between the biggest and the smallest guys in the house. 2) The trash talk that ensued by Sammi and the way JWOWW seemed to have lost her MOJO.

Best Villain

This award goes to Angelina. Nobody else came close. She was hated by the girls when she moved into the house. By the end of her time in Miami she was hated by the guys. Then the girls tried to make nice with her and she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. The only partial friend she had in the house was Sammi at the end and she is probably runner up to this award. She was called a Dirty Hamster, the Staten Island Dump, the Staten Island Ferry (Everyone gets to ride), Trashbags, and other names I’m not going to mention here. Everyone was glad to see her go. Also I was wondering if a Fossil Watch is really currency for sex in either Miami or Staten Island.

Comeback Player of the Year

There is only one guy this can go to and it’s Vinny. He made some serious off season adjustments. I think he watched season 1 and said to himself, “if I want to last on this show I have to be on camera.” Then he made the changes to his game to get more camera time, even if that was riding on the coat tails of Mike and Pauly. Although Pauly should realize he has a better wing man in Vinny than in Mike. Vinny would more graciously fall on a grenade. Vinny also hooked up with Snooki, Angelina, and Ramona. On top of various other women who found themselves in his bed at the end of the night.

Most Valuable Player

It is fitting that the three nominees for this award also call themselves MVP, Mike, Vinny, and Pauly.

Mike – He started the season strong, but the last few episodes were a definite low point for the Situation. He was striking out with the ladies, the housemates were upset with him, and he was pulling everyone else’s game down with his. When the Ace is slumping the team usually follows, however this season the team wasn’t going to let the Situation drag them down with him.

Vinny – He did some good work this season. As discussed earlier he really came out of his shell. He also made it a little harder for Mike to pull the Robbery on him at the bar.

DJ Pauly D – Last season was all about the Situation, but this season Pauly came running out of the gate and carried that steam all the way to the finish line. He pulled in girls every night. He worked the nice guy routine every time Mike was being a jerk to the ladies and it worked. At the end of an unsuccessful night he could just walk up to two girls and say you’re coming home with us and they would hop in the cab. He successfully got a girl to come over at 5:30am just to hook up.

Best New Terms

In this category we are all winners because we now have terms like:

T-Shirt Time: When it is time to put on your shirt to go to the club.

The shirt before the shirt: This is the shirt you wear while getting ready or relaxing before going to the club. This act precedes T-Shirt Time.

Oh Yeah, Cabs are here: Pauly alerting everyone that the cabs have arrived. He is like a modern day Paul Revere.

Chicken Cutlets: Something that fell out of a girls top while in the hot tub. The guys also passed back and forth like a baseball.

OG: Original Guido, this term was used to describe Vinny’s Uncle Nino.

Land Mine: Uglier than a grenade.

President of the I.F.F.: You can find the definition here. Ronnie is the President. Also view past Presidents at this site.

I hope you enjoyed this season as much as I did. I’m looking forward to Season 3 in January.

Fall Sports: It's Game Time

This weekend is going to be a big sports weekend for me. The Phillies will play Games 2 and 3 of the NLDS against the Cincinnati Reds, The Michigan Wolverines are playing the Michigan State Spartans, the Philadelphia Eagles play the 49ers, and The Washington Capitals open up the 2010-2011 season. First and foremost the Phillies after a historic game on Wednesday night look to put a strangle hold on the series Friday night when they send Roy Oswalt to the mound. In a best of 5 series the Phillies look to be a tough team to beat because they can send Roy Halladay and Roy Oswalt out twice and Cole Hamels out for Game 3. Not many teams outside of the Giants can match that starting pitching. Although as long as I’ve been a Phillies fan I know nothing is guaranteed. Halladay threw a gem on Wednesday night when he threw only the 2nd ever post season No Hitter. He has complete command of his pitches and the batters didn’t have a chance. I don’t foresee the Reds coming out cold for Game 2. Oswalt however has been pretty strong since coming to the Phillies and after spending so many years with the Astros should know the Reds lineup fairly well. This could be a great game and if the Reds win we could have a great series on our hands.

The next matchup I’m looking forward to is the annual matchup between Michigan and Michigan State for the Paul Bunyan Trophy. MSU has had the upper hand the last couple of years but with Denard Robinson shredding up defenses anyone can win this game, even with Michigan’s terrible defense. I’m looking for what should be another high scoring affair between two ranked teams. I think the Wolverines have a real shot at winning this game as long as Denard stays healthy. I also know that last year Michigan was in this same position and then didn’t win another game. I hope that doesn’t happen again. Go Blue!

As for the Eagles and the Capitals I’m not so worried about it. The Eagles are playing the 0-4 Niners and with the Baseball playoffs going on I’m not focused on the NFL or the beginning of the NHL season.

Here are my top 5 moments as a Phillies fan.

1: The Phillies win the 2008 World Series against the Tampa Bay Rays. The last game started on a Monday Night and didn’t finish until Wednesday Night because of a Rain Delay. I remember the feeling I had after the Phillies won and all of the phone calls I got from friends and family. I don’t even know how to describe the feelings I had that night. It was awesome.

2: Roy Halladay pitches a No Hitter in his playoff debut. The only thing keeping him from getting the Perfect Game was a Jay Bruce walk. Aside from that he dominated the Reds lineup. Before this I had never watched a No Hitter. If he continues to play this way throughout the playoffs and the Phillies can get back to the Fall Classic he really will be Mr. Doctober.

3: 1993 NLCS Game 6. The Phillies beat the Braves to go to the World Series. I remember staying up late to watch the game. After Mitch Williams struck out the last batter I could hear people outside cheering and banging pots and pans to celebrate. This event is what threw me into the deep end as Phillies fan and I’ve never looked back.

4: September 2007 Run to the Playoffs. The Phillies were down 7 games to the Mets at the beginning of the September. They covered the ground and won the NL EAST by 1 game. The downside was they were swept by the Colorado Rockies in the first round. That was the first year this team went to the playoffs. They have won the NL EAST the next 3 years and been to 2 World Series since then. This team has this season and hopefully a few more to go before we really know the whole story but I like where they’re at.

5: Anytime I got to go watch the Phillies play at the VET with my Dad. I used to love going to baseball games with my Dad and even to Wrigley Field with my Grandparents as a kid. Even today a trip to the ball park is an event to look forward to.

Enjoy your weekend and whatever sporting events you will be watching this weekend.

PH Award - Jersey Shore Style

Sorry but the Baroness was visiting this weekend so the Baron didn’t have time to post the Paris Hilton Award for last week. I know everyone has been waiting on pins and needles. Last week’s Paris Hilton Award recipient is Angelina from the Jersey Shore. It has only been 10 months since Angelina first appeared before millions of viewers moving into the Jersey Shore house for season one with everything she owned in trash bags. At least this season she seems to have upgraded her luggage. Angelina wins the award for moving out of the Jersey Shore (South Beach) House in Miami. In season 1 Angelina was kicked out of the house for not going to work because as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island it takes her 6 hours to get ready to go out at night. If you’ve seen the show you understand why it takes so long for her to get ready, she has a lot of ugly to cover up. In season 2 Angelina was a surprise housemate. She was befriended by the Situation and Pauly D but hated by the rest of the cast. She then proceeded to alienate Pauly D when she smacked him one night after getting hammered at the bar. She never truly rebuilt the bridge with the girls and then crossed the Situation to close out her time on Season 2. The Situation who has now taken a punch to the face from 2 female cast members in 2 seasons proceeded to make Angelina’s life hell. This all culminated when Angelina decided to move out and get into it with Snookie. This fight had more anticipation for it then the Sammie v. JWOWW fight and the Angelina v. Situation attack. If you saw season 1 you know that Snookie can take a punch. (See Video Here.) The fight went on for a few minutes when the girls were finally pulled apart and Angelina went on her way back to Staten Island to regain the thrown as the Staten Island Dump. The reason she is winning the award this week is because of all the money she cost herself by leaving the show. It’s almost guaranteed she will not be on Season 3 after voluntarily leaving Season 2. While she does provide good drama it’s not worth dumping the money into her contract when she may not show up for the full season. Angelina’s Jersey shore career has been a lot like Randy Moss’s NFL career. She brings it early on but by the end you will do anything to get rid of her because she doesn’t pull her wait. The other reason she is getting this award is for the simple fact that she left South Beach with two weeks left of taping. If I’m getting paid 10-15 thousand dollars an episode to be taped for a reality show and I have two weeks left where I am being kept in Miami I don’t care how much I hate the people I’m living with I’m going to party my a$$ off. She doesn’t have to hang out with the cast but take advantage of the situation and party. Angelina it was enjoyable watching the drama you created on the Jersey Shore but I honestly can’t say I will miss you.

Stay tuned for my Jersey Shore Season 2 Awards in a week or two.